Drinking Alone by Moonlight
(pinyin: Yuè Xià Dú Zhuó)
as translated by Arthur Waley
A cup of wine, under the flowering trees;
I drink alone, for no friend is near.
Raising my cup I beckon the bright moon,
For her, with my shadow, will make three men.
The moon, alas, is no drinker of wine;
Listless, my shadow creeps about at my side.
Yet with the moon as friend and the shadow as slave
I must make merry before the Spring is spent.
To the songs I sing the moon flickers her beams;
In the dance I weave my shadow tangles and breaks.
While we were sober, three shared the fun;
Now we are drunk, each goes his way.
May we long share our odd, inanimate feast,
And meet at last on the Cloudy River of the sky.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Saturday, April 5, 2008
The Song of Despair
The Song of Despair
by Pablo Neruda
Translated by W. S. Merwin
The memory of you emerges from the night around me.
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea.
Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!
Cold flower heads are raining over my heart.
Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked.
In you the wars and the flights accumulated.
From you the wings of the song birds rose.
You swallowed everything, like distance.
Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!
It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss.
The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse.
Pilot’s dread, fury of a blind diver,
turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank!
In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded.
Lost discoverer, in you everything sank!
You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank!
I made the wall of shadow draw back,
beyond desire and act, I walked on.
Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost,
I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you.
Like a jar you housed the infinite tenderness,
and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar.
There was the black solitude of the islands,
and there, woman of love, your arms took me in.
There were thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.
There were grief and the ruins, and you were the miracle.
Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me
in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms!
How terrible and brief was my desire of you!
How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid.
Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs,
still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds.
Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.
Oh the mad coupling of hope and force
in which we merged and despaired.
And the tenderness, light as water and as flour.
And the word scarcely begun on the lips.
This was my destiny and in it was the voyage of my longing,
and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank!
Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you,
what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned!
From billow to billow you still called and sang.
Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel.
You still flowered in songs, you still broke in currents.
Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well.
Pale blind diver, luckless slinger,
lost discoverer, in you everything sank!
It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour
which the night fastens to all the timetables.
The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore.
Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate.
Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
Only the tremulous shadow twists in my hands.
Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything.
It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one.
From Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair, by Pablo Neruda, translated by W.S. Merwin, published by Chronicle Books. Copyright © 1969 by W.S. Merwin. Reprinted by permission of W.S. Merwin. All rights reserved.
by Pablo Neruda
Translated by W. S. Merwin
The memory of you emerges from the night around me.
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea.
Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!
Cold flower heads are raining over my heart.
Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked.
In you the wars and the flights accumulated.
From you the wings of the song birds rose.
You swallowed everything, like distance.
Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!
It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss.
The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse.
Pilot’s dread, fury of a blind diver,
turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank!
In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded.
Lost discoverer, in you everything sank!
You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank!
I made the wall of shadow draw back,
beyond desire and act, I walked on.
Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost,
I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you.
Like a jar you housed the infinite tenderness,
and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar.
There was the black solitude of the islands,
and there, woman of love, your arms took me in.
There were thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.
There were grief and the ruins, and you were the miracle.
Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me
in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms!
How terrible and brief was my desire of you!
How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid.
Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs,
still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds.
Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.
Oh the mad coupling of hope and force
in which we merged and despaired.
And the tenderness, light as water and as flour.
And the word scarcely begun on the lips.
This was my destiny and in it was the voyage of my longing,
and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank!
Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you,
what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned!
From billow to billow you still called and sang.
Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel.
You still flowered in songs, you still broke in currents.
Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well.
Pale blind diver, luckless slinger,
lost discoverer, in you everything sank!
It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour
which the night fastens to all the timetables.
The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore.
Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate.
Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
Only the tremulous shadow twists in my hands.
Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything.
It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one.
From Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair, by Pablo Neruda, translated by W.S. Merwin, published by Chronicle Books. Copyright © 1969 by W.S. Merwin. Reprinted by permission of W.S. Merwin. All rights reserved.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Clearing at Dawn
Another favorite poet is Li Po (Li Bai or Li T'ai Po), an ancient Chinese poet circa 701-762 A.D. included in a group of Chinese scholars called the "Eight Immortals of the Wine Cup" by his contemporary Tu Fu (or Du Fu). His bohemian lifestyle and interest in alchemy and religion (Taoism) reminds me of my own father, but his musings and imagery taught me a lot about poetry during my early years. I gathered young Li Po wandered the countrysides as a commoner "occasionally seeking official employment but not through the examinations." He initially frowned upon poets being in the royal court but later succumbed to its allure and became one (thus this tribute). Later resuming his wanderings, he got ensnared with the power struggles common in the era and was banished, but eventually pardoned. For more information, try this Wikipedia link.
He is probably best known for "Drinking Alone by Moonlight" (pinyin: Yuè Xià Dú Zhuó) as translated by Arthur Waley (which I will post later) but my favorite is this:
Clearing at Dawn
Li T'ai Po
translated by Waley
The fields are chill, the sparse rain has stopped;
The colours of Spring teem on every side.
With leaping fish the blue pond is full;
With singing thrushes the green boughs droop.
The flowers of the field have dabbled their powdered cheeks;
The mountain grasses are bent level at the waist.
By the bamboo stream the last fragment of cloud
Blown by the wind slowly scatters away.
The colours of Spring teem on every side.
With leaping fish the blue pond is full;
With singing thrushes the green boughs droop.
The flowers of the field have dabbled their powdered cheeks;
The mountain grasses are bent level at the waist.
By the bamboo stream the last fragment of cloud
Blown by the wind slowly scatters away.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Curse
I can't find any of my own works, so I am sharing this piece from a favorite of mine: Chilean poet and Nobel laureate for Literature Pablo Neruda (1971). Born Neftalí Ricardo Reyes Basoalto in 1904, he was a poet known for his emotionally-charged love poems and his political activism. (Photo credits: http://www.poets.org/).Curse
by Pablo Neruda
Translated by Donald D. Walsh
Furrowed motherland, I swear that in your ashes
you will be born like a flower of eternal water
I swear that from your mouth of thirst will come to the air
the petals of bread, the spilt
inaugurated flower. Cursed,
cursed, cursed be those who with an ax and serpent
came to your earthly arena, cursed those
who waited for this day to open the door
of the dwelling to the moor and the bandit:
What have you achieved? Bring, bring the lamp,
see the soaked earth, see the blackened little bone
eaten by the flames, the garment
of murdered Spain.
"Curse" by Pablo Neruda, from Spain In Our Hearts, copyright © 1973 by Pablo Neruda, and Donald D. Walsh. Copyright © 2006 New Directions Publishing Corp.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
hatinggabi
Tumitig ang buwan
malungkot, malamlam
ang iyong mga mata:
noon, hindi ko pa unawa.
Ulan ng liwanag
malungkot, malamlam
ang iyong mga mata
humahaplos sa aking mukha.
Kagampan nang ating sadyain
kadawagan ng hatinggabi,
upang sisirin ang balong ng dalita
sa ating katauhan
at ito'y tuyuin ng paninindigan.
Ngunit ngayon...
Kinuha ka na ng buwan
malungkot, malamlam
at hindi na babalik pa:
haplos na lamang sa hatinggabi.
~ tula ni A. Mangampo Ociones
~ nilikha noong 1992.
malungkot, malamlam
ang iyong mga mata:
noon, hindi ko pa unawa.
Ulan ng liwanag
malungkot, malamlam
ang iyong mga mata
humahaplos sa aking mukha.
Kagampan nang ating sadyain
kadawagan ng hatinggabi,
upang sisirin ang balong ng dalita
sa ating katauhan
at ito'y tuyuin ng paninindigan.
Ngunit ngayon...
Kinuha ka na ng buwan
malungkot, malamlam
at hindi na babalik pa:
haplos na lamang sa hatinggabi.
~ tula ni A. Mangampo Ociones
~ nilikha noong 1992.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
limos
lahad ang palad ng umaga,
sa dampi ng hamog, nag-aabang
hanggang takip-silim, walang dumating
~ tula ni A. Mangampo Ociones
~ nilikha sa riyadh, saudi arabia. 2005.
sa dampi ng hamog, nag-aabang
hanggang takip-silim, walang dumating
~ tula ni A. Mangampo Ociones
~ nilikha sa riyadh, saudi arabia. 2005.
Monday, January 14, 2008
lipat-bahay
mahirap talaga maglipat-bahay. problema mo ang pagbaklas ng mga gamit, pagbubuhat, tapos re-assemply. pero siempre, may mga pagkakataon na kailangan talaga lumipat ng bahay. sa loob ng 10 buwan ko dito sa jeddah, nakatatlong bahay na kami.
ang penthouse. ang una naming bahay, nasa rooftop ng isang three storey building na parang kasing-tanda ko na kaya naaagnas ang mga plaster ng dingding. maganda sa unang tingin. mayroong maliit na taniman ng kangkong atbp gulay sa gilid nya. malawak ang palibot para pagsampayan (actually, may badminton court pa kami sa tabi).ang problema lang talaga kapag rooftop, paborito kayong dalawin ng pusa (kaya palaging hindi kaaya-aya ang amoy ng paligid). kailangan ding araw-araw makipagpatintero sa mga satellite dish (balita ko pa, nakakabaog daw ito). at kapag humangin, lahat ng alikabok sagap ng aming flat.
pero ang pinakamasaklap sa flat na ito (at sa buong building), 3 - 4 araw na walang tubig sa isang linggo. Nung minsan, naubos talaga ang naipon namin naobliga kaming bumili ng tig-iisang 6-gallon mineral water para makapaligo. sossy! pero ansakit sa bulsa...
ang mansion. kaya lumipat kami sa isang hotel. mas sossy sabi tuloy ng tropa. may 24 hour security at provided ang furnitures including sofa, study table and beds (goodbye muna sa metal beds at cheapy foam mattreses). higit sa lahat, libre ang tubig at kuryente. Sagana nga kami sa tubig. mayroon ding gym ang hotel kaya tuluy-tuloy ang workout.
kaso, palibhasa basement, ambaba ng ceiling (kaya mapagpala talaga ang Panginoon kasi if I was taller than my actual height, araw-araw akong mauuntog). standard kasi sa mga residential buildings dito na ang ground level ay parking area and/or staff housing for drivers (unlike sa Pinas na super priority ang ground level). kung ano ang koneksyon ng baba ng ceiling sa pagiging driver, hindi ko rin ma-gets pero obviously, walang Arabo na gugustong tumira sa ganitong flat.
isa pang ayaw ko, may ka-share ako sa room (check-out my roomie episode). kapag may roommate, siempre off-limits ang gumawa ng milagro (na hindi ko pwedeng hindi gawin). at siempre kapag gumagawa ka ng milagro, hindi pwedeng maingay (na hirap na hirap akong gawin, kasi very expressive ako sa ganun).
hindi rin pwedeng magsama ng friends para mayroon kang kalaro sa paggawa ng milagro. ang hirap kaya nun. kaya go... lipat-bahay ulit.
finally... my own space. dahil hindi pa ako pwedeng magbuhat ng mabigat due to the operation on my gallbladder, kailangan kong abalahin ang madaming tao (tatlo lang naman sila) and I was really thankful for them (my fraternity brods, t2 FP, t2 EV at t2 JN).
eto na ngayon ang aking own personal space. kaso, balik ako sa metal bed na mistulang bed ng ospital at mattress na numinipis sa bawat gabi na nahihigaan. at dahil inubos ng rent ang budget (mahal ang flat sa area na ito), hindi pa nakabili man lang ng furniture kaya pwedeng maglagay ng skating rink sa laki ng sobrang space.
buti na lang nakabili na ako ng carpet. pero kailangan pang bumili ng kurtina at i-repaint ang room. i would also need my own computer table, sofa, plasma tv and internet connection. i wonder who's willing to give all of it as a gift. hmmm...
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
blessings
after ng challenges, blessings naman.
the past year of the fire pig was not favorable for saggitarians born on the year of the dog na tulad ko. pero dahil hindi ako naniniwala sa horoscope(s), i feel blessed in 2007. here's why:
1. more or less stable finances. despite the financial troubles, ang paglipad ko finally papunta dito sa disyerto is a sense of stability. hindi ako nagkaroon ng malaking financial growth, at least, wala kaming anumang accounts payable ni ermats by the end of the year. zero-balance kumbaga.
2. better employer. blessing talaga ang workplace na napasukan ko. malayong-malayo ito sa dati kong work. period!
3. lost weight. i really lost weight. imagine 70 kilos ako sa medical report January last year, ngayon average na lang ako ng 62 kilos. bad trip lang, kahit namayat ako, yung tyan ko ganun pa rin.
4. gained more friends. my concentric (o eccentric) circles of friends is ever widening. i really thank God for their company. di ko na sasabihin kung sinu-sino sila pero alam kong alam na nila kung sino sila. kung saan-saan namin napulot ang isa't-isa: sa kapatiran, sa samahan; sa yahoogroups, pic-link at friendster; sa trabaho, sa kalye, sa remittance center...
5. internet-lovers. ano bang meron ang profile ko sa friendster at maya't-maya merong magme-message na gusto daw nila ako? (geez, ang yabang! hehehehe... ;P) kidding aside, they are such a blessing for they brighten the otherwise drab days.
6. probably found the love of my life. tingin ko, nakita ko na din sa wakas ang aking love of my life. mabait sya, thoughtful, masipag, masarap magluto, may sense of humor, hindi abusado, loyalty... ibang usapan na kung nakita na din nya ako, pero at least kung sakali mang maghahanap sya ng mapapangasawa, alam ko na kung saan ko ibabalandra ang sarili ko para ako lang ang matatagpuan nya. mwahahahahaha!
o sya, matatapos na ang first day ng 2008.
wish-list naman sa susunod.
the past year of the fire pig was not favorable for saggitarians born on the year of the dog na tulad ko. pero dahil hindi ako naniniwala sa horoscope(s), i feel blessed in 2007. here's why:
1. more or less stable finances. despite the financial troubles, ang paglipad ko finally papunta dito sa disyerto is a sense of stability. hindi ako nagkaroon ng malaking financial growth, at least, wala kaming anumang accounts payable ni ermats by the end of the year. zero-balance kumbaga.
2. better employer. blessing talaga ang workplace na napasukan ko. malayong-malayo ito sa dati kong work. period!
3. lost weight. i really lost weight. imagine 70 kilos ako sa medical report January last year, ngayon average na lang ako ng 62 kilos. bad trip lang, kahit namayat ako, yung tyan ko ganun pa rin.
4. gained more friends. my concentric (o eccentric) circles of friends is ever widening. i really thank God for their company. di ko na sasabihin kung sinu-sino sila pero alam kong alam na nila kung sino sila. kung saan-saan namin napulot ang isa't-isa: sa kapatiran, sa samahan; sa yahoogroups, pic-link at friendster; sa trabaho, sa kalye, sa remittance center...
5. internet-lovers. ano bang meron ang profile ko sa friendster at maya't-maya merong magme-message na gusto daw nila ako? (geez, ang yabang! hehehehe... ;P) kidding aside, they are such a blessing for they brighten the otherwise drab days.
6. probably found the love of my life. tingin ko, nakita ko na din sa wakas ang aking love of my life. mabait sya, thoughtful, masipag, masarap magluto, may sense of humor, hindi abusado, loyalty... ibang usapan na kung nakita na din nya ako, pero at least kung sakali mang maghahanap sya ng mapapangasawa, alam ko na kung saan ko ibabalandra ang sarili ko para ako lang ang matatagpuan nya. mwahahahahaha!
o sya, matatapos na ang first day ng 2008.
wish-list naman sa susunod.
challenges
tapos na ang 2007. looking back, iniisip ko na pinakamabigat in terms of challenges ang nakaraang taon para sa akin. november 30, 2006 nang tamaan kami ng bagyong Reming at ang epekto ay hanggang 2007. bukod dito, ito ang mga challenges sa akin last year:
1. muntik nang hindi nakabalik sa saudi. January 5 nang malaman ko na ipinasara ng POEA ang agency na magpa-process ng deployment ko. imagine ang panlulumo ko nang pagdating sa agency, nakasarado na ito at nakadikit ang pulang sticker ng POEA na may: "closed for illegal recruitment." buti na lang, mabait ang employer at naiayos din ang processing through another agency. lumaki ang gastos ko dahil kailangan ko ulit magpa-medical.
2. inatake si maderes. wala pa akong isang buwan dito nang inatake ng hypertension si mader. three days syang walang malay sa hospital at naubos ang puhunan ng tindahan nang ito ang ipinambayad sa hospital bills. siempre pa, kailangang ibalik ang puhunan ng tindahan.
3. siningil ako ni ex-. noong wala akong pirmihang trabaho sa Pinas, nagpapadala ng pera si ex-. yung iba, hiniram ko talaga, pero meron din naman syang ibinigay kahit hindi ako humihingi. ang siste, siningil nya ako for everything. nakabayad naman ako dahil binigyan nya ako ng discount, pero ang sakit ng dating nito sa akin (nabawasan ang respeto ko sa kanya).
4. nagkasakit ako. throat infection lang 'yon (kung anu-ano daw kasi ang isinusubo, sabi ni Ken) pero for five days, ayaw tumalab ng antibiotics. na-praning ako. akala ko AIDS na (p***-**a! saan ko 'to nakuha?) buti na lang, na-identify sa ospital ang problema at ang ending: goodbye gall bladder.
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